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Tag Archives: self-esteem
God’s Opinion and God’s Church
A recent reply to a discussion sparked by one of my posts goes this way: <blockquote>My opinion is not important and neither is anyone else’s. God’s opinion is all that matters. That is my entire view on all matters of … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Church of Christ, Churches of Christ, evangelism, family, lonely, loyalty, self-esteem, shame
3 Comments
Dealing with Shame
Each branch of Christianity deals with shame in a slightly different way. Shame is one of the core sources of our misery. Shame is especially core for those who were raised in fundamentalist churches. If you were the child of … Continue reading
Posted in Manipulation, Psychology
Tagged Church of Christ, Churches of Christ, ex-church of christ, faith and works, salvation, saved, self-esteem, shame
5 Comments
Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother
The only specific way that Jesus told adult children to honor their parents was to support them in their old age. When you go down the list of what we are tempted to believe when we think of honoring our … Continue reading
Posted in Manipulation, Psychology
Tagged arguing, Church of Christ, Churches of Christ, condescension, ex-church of christ, family, father, hint, honor, lonely, loyalty, pressure, Respect, self-esteem, shame, sneer, spanking
3 Comments
Fundamentalists have shame-based families
John Bradshaw, a popular psychologist in the 1980s, came up with seven rules that fundamentalist shame based families live by. He should know, he grew up in a fundamentalist Catholic home. 1. The first rule is to control everything. If … Continue reading
Posted in Faith and Works, Grace, Manipulation, Psychology
Tagged blame, bradshaw, children, Church of Christ, Churches of Christ, condescension, discipline, evangelical family, fundamentalist family, judgment, lonely, obsessive, Respect, self-esteem, shame, sneer
3 Comments
The Inevitable Train Wreck
When I think of the train wreck that people go through when they leave the hardline Churches of Christ, or almost any sect for that matter, I think of all the analyzing the person does afterward. “I should have said … Continue reading
Posted in Bible, Psychology
Tagged arguing, black and white, church, Church of Christ, Churches of Christ, James Fowler, lonely, loyalty, pressure, self-esteem, sneer, stages of faith, withdrawal
2 Comments
The Angry God
Churches with harsh discipline describe God as angry, unpredictable, vengeful and secretive, demanding loyalty. In other words: as a typical alcoholic godfather of a nasty organized mob family. Where does the hardline Churches of Christ get this picture of God? … Continue reading
Posted in Manipulation, Psychology
Tagged children, Church of Christ, discipline, family, father, judgment, loyalty, pressure, self-esteem, spanking, withdrawal
2 Comments
PTSD
Many people raised in hardline churches suffer from symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome: 1. nightmares about church or family members, 2. avoidance of church or religious or family activities, 3. over reacting to stressful situations that remind them of … Continue reading
Posted in Manipulation, Psychology
Tagged black and white, children, Church of Christ, Churches of Christ, discipline, family, judgment, loyalty, pressure, PTSD, self-esteem, spanking, withdrawal
11 Comments
How Old do they Act?
One way of handling stressful family members is to assess how old they act. For instance my father was baptized when he was eleven years old. He has never questioned his commitment to the church he was baptized into. He … Continue reading
Posted in Manipulation, Psychology
Tagged Church of Christ, discipline, family, father, judgment, self-esteem, sneer
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Tagged Relationships Versus Built Relationships
One of my relatives was saying that the stress we put on ourselves around family and relatives is usually because we are viewing our relationships through their tag: mother, father, brother, grandparent, child, or even: teacher, preacher, elder, member. This … Continue reading
Posted in Manipulation, Psychology
Tagged children, Church of Christ, Churches of Christ, family, father, honor, loyalty, mother, pressure, self-esteem
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The Friendly Visit
Once you quit attending, and definitely after you have been withdrawn from, you will get the friendly visit. The friendly visit, if observed by friends or unknowing relatives, is characterized by politeness and seeming genuineness. It leaves you confused as … Continue reading
Posted in Manipulation, Psychology
Tagged arguing, attendance, children, Church of Christ, Churches of Christ, condescension, denominationalism, discipline, family, judgment, pressure, salvation, saved, self-esteem, sneer, withdrawal
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Ex-Church of Christ Blog 